Friday, April 8, 2011
Library at 10pm on a Friday night
As I write I am sat in the 'quiet' area of the library trying to get some of my EH4102 project done and also trying to contend with the 20,000 word MA dissertation hanging over my head whilst writing a half an hour presentation for another MA module and a 5,000 word, what can only be described as philosophy essay, for another MA module. Although I can't pretend this is my venue of choice for 10pm on a Friday night it has led to me some interesting reflections, firstly, how can my students work in this environment, I usually have a beautiful home office in which to work and where I choose to work if I am not required to be on campus. Today, however I needed some books and also to be away from some of the distractions at home. The library at UCLan is big, has a number of group study rooms and silent study area's and a fairly extensive library of books, although is moving towards paperless e-books in lots of areas. I have so far moved 3 times to avoid noise and chat (once out of a supposably silent room into another) and have struggled to find one book I needed and when found the others both are in terrible condition. Tonight is a relatively quiet time for the library so how do my students work here when it is busy, when everyone has assignments due in? How do they find books when everyone a course is competing for the same book? I wonder if we, as academics are too fast to dismiss student concerns regarding lack of facilities and how difficult it is for them to complete work on time. I know I have been dismissive of concerns such as these, suggesting 'just using e-books' or 'spending less time on 'Facebook' (easier said than done, I now learn) but its easy for me to dismiss them when I don't have to rely on others to provide reading materials or a suitable place to study. In addition to concerns about the library this experience has also led me to reflect on how difficult being a student really is, especially when balancing studying with paid employment and a social life. Being engaged in higher education is a challenge, some of the students I teach have up to 7 children, in addition to husbands who are often expecting them to fulfill a particular role in addition to University work. I have reflected previously how my students struggle with group work and how frustrated they become when the rest of their group fail to turn up or complete work and in addition to considering these issues in relation to changing assignment procedures perhaps I need to consider them in relation to a pastoral role and ensuring that my students are actually able to complete the work they are given. This would prove more difficult in the Burnley campus as the library is one room with no silent study areas and the campus closes at 8pm meaning if they, like me, find it easier to study in the evening they would have little opportunity.
Through this process I feel like I am starting to finally feel more like a 'proper academic', I seem to be finding myself recognising the concerns I have and relating them back to my students, how I can change things to make them easier for them and how I can show empathy. But more than that, although I am a post-graduate student, that is no longer how I define myself, instead seeing myself as an academic at this University, someone that contributes to the learning and teaching in a meaningful and relevant way. I feel lucky that this is not my normal experience, that I do not have to rely on the library and a room in halls but that I can order inspection copies of books and utilise research spaces at the University. It also makes me realise how much I can't wait to complete this MA, It will be a good few years before I am ready to take on my phd, but for the first time I feel like it might be a possibility.
I have enjoyed this reflection, its nice to realise you are finding your feet in a role you have felt previously a little overwhelmed by, or maybe its far too late and I am getting all emotional!
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